HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
