I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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