i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
a search helicopter?!
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
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