I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
