Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
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