and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
