piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
