Sponge bath it is.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
