You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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