when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
