i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
