sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Its about making memories worth repressing
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
