He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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