You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I'm too high and old for this...
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
