Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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