Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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