Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
