Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
