I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
