just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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