You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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