Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
