I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize