The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
the day after is always just damage control
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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