she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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