I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize