Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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