Where did you get a picture of my penis
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
