oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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