its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
BRING THE BAGELS
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
