I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
