Define "chronic" masturbator.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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