Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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