Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
