terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize