Can i not drive my cunt home
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize