we have pet lesbian snakes
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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