Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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