16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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