I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
