yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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