please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
