My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Randomize
