Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
