it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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