He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
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i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
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Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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