Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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