24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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