My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
