I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
where does the pee come out of this thing
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's never too late to be topless.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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