So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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