I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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