just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
my shit smells like andre
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
