my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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