So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
