This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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