I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
