Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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