Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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