i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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