but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
