I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
