he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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