Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
