Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I just sucked dick on a ferry
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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