Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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