So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
