just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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