you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
